Buckle up for a journey of Cowboys sadness with Post Malone, Hootie and the Blowfish, and…*checks notes* Pokémon?
We live in a world where pretty much everything is the product of an algorithm. From Netflix movies essentially being written by your viewing patterns, to targeted Instagram ads about the coffee maker you looked up once, to the Google search algorithm that probably led you to this article.
Nothing personifies the algorithmic nature of our lives than the following: Post Malone recorded a cover of Hootie and the Blowfish’s Only Wanna Be With You and changed some of the lyrics to be about the Dallas Cowboys, all to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Pokémon.
Whew, that was a journey. And that’s before you even get to the song itself.
Post has been teasing a collaboration with Pokémon for a while now, and it has seemingly culminated in this euphoric weirdness. Tucked away deep inside of the obviousness of how weird this all is lies a Dallas Cowboys reference that cuts deeper than it probably should.
In the original Only Wanna Be With You, Darius Rucker made mention of how the Miami Dolphins make him cry. Post took that lyric and subtly remixed it to be about his beloved Dallas Cowboys.
Post Malone drops a subtly sad Dallas Cowboys reference
Take a listen for yourself:
Post is a lot of things: Rapper, country singer, pop star, actor, probably the main reason Bud Light got into the seltzer game. He’s also a diehard Dallas Cowboys fan, one who has watched with tremendous pain as his team suffered blow after blow over the last few years.
A short list of the many Cowboys things that probably made Post Malone cry:
- The Dez Bryant No Catch Game
- Dak Prescott’s injury
- The 2016 NFC Divisional Round game against the Packers
- Tony Romo’s botched snap against the Seahawks
- Kicking a field goal while down 44-3 to the Eagles in a win-and-in game
- Signing Greg Hardy
- That time Tony Romo forgot what down it was against Denver
- The Dave Campo era
Keep in mind that Post was born in 1995, six months after the Cowboys won the last Super Bowl of their iconic dynasty. So when he says the Cowboys make him cry, it’s coming from a genuine place of absolute pure sadness.